Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Joshua, My Five Year Old

My Joshua turns 5 tomorrow. Time has flown by and I was unprepared for how fragile my children could make me. I am constantly praying for them and wondering about them...their present...their future. They have no idea how much I love them. Thought I show them and tell them all the time. They will not know of this love until they have children of their own.

I know that tomorrow Joshua will have 2 mothers who are thinking about him and how big he is. I know I am the blessed one. Praise God for this Gift! I have been able to watch him grow and take pride in what he is becoming. I have all the memories and know that if given the chance, there will be more memories to make.

I grieve for his other mother. For her loss. I hope that one day she will be able to look at all I have sent for her and that she will be blessed with the knowledge that she gave him life and a home. She wanted the best for him. I love her and I thank her for making a hard decision that has brought so many people joy. I pray that one day we can know eachother and be friends. That I can share with her our story.

God knew where you were and saw exactly what you needed: A Father and Mother, a home. He saw Daddy and Mommy and knew exactly what we needed: You. God knows our every need and our every desire and he has a perfect plan for our lives. I pray that you will learn to let God lead you and that you will trust that His ways are GOOD. At 5 there is so much that you have learned but there is still so much to go. You are a joy, you are my heart. I look at you and still see the cute dimpled little baby boy who would gnaw on my chin when teething. I see the echo of the man you will become. The strength, the courage, the tenderness, the intelligence and the humor.

I will always love you. "Forever and ever, whole wide world."


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