I have to admit that until Troy and I went through the adoption process and finally got Joshua, I had a very limited understanding of adoption and all that it meant. I think I imagined that adoption was something a person did out of the kindness of their heart. Like a good deed. For example, a couple might say "Let's adopt one of those starving kids in Africa." That does happen, of course, but it was a little naive of me to think of it just that way. I didn't know that most adoptions are undertaken with a purely selfish desire. The desire to have children. Raise children. At least that was how it happened for us.
Troy and I tried to get pregnant for a couple of years and tried intro-uterine insemination 3 times with no positive outcome. Then we looked at international adoption and realized that financially we were not in a place to fund that. So we looked at several domestic adoption agencies and decided to attend an information meeting about a new agency here in our hometown. After the meeting we signed up with them and began the mountains of paperwork that were required of us. We completed a home study and submitted a Life Book. (A Life Book is a compilation of pictures and information about the adoptive family. The birthparents can look through these books and choose a family to meet and then from there choose them to adopt the child.) Somewhere in all this process I began to really be okay with creating a family this way. God worked in our lives and in our marriage to bring us to a peace about our infertility and the decision to adopt. Anyway, we had a match while we were with this agency but it fell through. It was very hard and we were sad for some time. Then we switched agencies and with this one we had another failed match. However, this failed match was a little harder. We had the little boy in our home for 5 days and then we had to hand him back to his Mother. We were hurt, confused and really just devastated. But God is good! Within 2 months of this event we were contacted by our agency with another match. "Would we like to come pick up a baby boy tomorrow?" So we welcomed Joshua into our family when he was 2 days old and he was our baby, a perfect fit...the child I had been praying for out of my selfish desire to see my husband be a father and for me to be a mother.
We brought Joshua home in January of 2005 and in November of 2005 we had our 2nd son, Caleb. Since then we have had another son, Simon, who just turned 1 year old. So our infertility was short lived and I believe that God planned it just that way. He knew exactly when Joshua would come and that Joshua would need to be the big brother. I am so thankful that God loves us and has a plan for us.
I don't know if there will be more brothers (or sisters) but I trust in God and His plan for my life. It's exciting to imagine what He might have in store for us.
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